♞
“I was looking from my kitchen window at my garden about an hour after the wee lasses from the Girls Scouts buggered off, when I noticed an unfamiliar figure coming down my path from the forest. She was dressed in a hooded cloak of the most repulsive appearance. At first I thought it was paint on it, but even from that distance I realised it looked more like a freshly slaughtered cow hide, worn inside out. You know, dark in some patched from where the blood had dried; red in others where it was still wet, plus a bit of lighter colour where there was no blood at all, and then the kettle boiled Officer. I left the window, and made a pot of tea in the good tea pot my sister Bel left me. It has flowers on it like the ones my poppies get on them. Is the privy hereabouts dear, all that tea is going through me? You know how it is dear.” Interview ceased 1554Z26MAY1184 -> SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff. Ms. Wanda Itch requiring use of the privy.
Interview recommences 1614Z26MAY1184 -> SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, Ms. Wanda Itch. “Anyway Officer Smiff, when I let her in I offered her a cuppa from my good tea pot, the one left to me by my sister with the flowers on it, and instead of saying yes or no, she just smiled at me. A bit like the Worcestershire Cat actually, from that book you know. Well, we had a cuppa, but she would not remove her riding hood when she sat down, in ‘My’ chair might I add. Anyway, when I got up again, I had bloody green bummed flies all over my freshly swept dirt floor. Then I notices these dark splotches, and after a bit of a closer look, I see’s they were blood. Fat blood drops on my beautiful floor. The hide of her!” – Ms. W. Itch, 1618Z26MAY1184.
“Very good Ms. Itch, and then what happened?” – SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, 1619Z26MAY1184.
“When dear? Sorry, when Officer Smiff?.” – Ms. W. Itch, 1620Z26MAY1184.
“When you noticed the blood on the floor Ms. Itch.” – SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, 1621Z26MAY1184.
“What blood dear?” – Ms. W. Itch, 1623Z26MAY1184.
“The blood you just told me about, after you and the suspect finished you cup of tea from your best tea pot.” – SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, 1625Z26MAY1184.
“Yes please.” – Ms. W. Itch, 1626Z26MAY1184.
“Pardon?” – SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, 1627Z26MAY1184.
“Yes dear, I’d love a cuppa. Black and one please and a couple of biscuit’s if you have some dear.” – Ms. W. Itch, 1626Z26MAY1184.
Interview ceased 1627Z26MAY1184 -> SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff. Ms. Wanda Itch to make W. Itch a bloody cuppa and get her nibs a couple of bloody biscuits. Jesus bloody Christ what sort of a bloody show is this? Tea and bloody biscuits! I was meant to be out the door hours ago! W. Itch alright!
Interview recommences 1641Z26MAY1184 -> SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, Ms. Wanda Itch. “Thank you my dear. I was looking from my kitchen window at my garden about an hour after the wee lasses from the Girls Scouts buggered off,” – Ms. W. Itch, 1643Z26MAY1184.
“I believe we have have covered that Ms. Itch. You noticed blood on your floor after you finished your cup of tea from your bloody flowery pot Ms. Itch.” – SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, 1645Z26MAY1184.
“Oh no dear, my best tea pot weren’t bloody at all. It was on my freshly swept dirt with green bummed flies on it.” – Ms. W. Itch, 1649Z26MAY1184.
“Saints preserve me. Then what happened Ms. Itch?” – SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, 1651Z26MAY1184.
“Well I was was about to say before you interrupted dear. Now where was I?” – Ms. W. Itch, 1655Z26MAY1184.
“The blood on your bloody floor Ms. Itch! What did you do after you noticed it? Actually, bugger this for a lark, we will discuss this tomorrow. Can I get bloody interview dungeon two opened up right bloody now.” – Interview ceased 1651Z26MAY1184. SGT of the Guard, Jack Smiff, Ms. W. Itch.
♞
TBC.
C.W. Stoneking is hiding in the lower of the two pictures, something different that I enjoy. Click on it to expose it.
N.
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